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Writer's Fear.

January 13, 2020

I think it's safe to say I have no idea what I'm doing. I never thought this would be easy, but it's proving harder than it used to. If only words could drift from my mind directly to the page. The writing is the hardest part. Not the physical act of writing, the typing or scrawling of words, but the scouring of every morsel of genius from my brain and having it still be as genius as it was at conception.

Correction, marketing is the hardest part because even if I do accomplish the aforementioned I still have to somehow get my work in front of eyes, a task made even more difficult by retailers' deliberate nebulousness of keywords and rankings and metadata and random bans. Looking at you, Amazon. Smashwords is no better. At least KDP halfway makes sense.

Self-publishing is hard. I can write the best shit on the planet and never have a single page read. Or I can stumble into millions. Unlikely, I know, especially in my chosen genre. Honestly, I would be happy to make a few hundred bucks. That's the biggest barrier to writing; the uncertainty of the endeavor. It's why I've vacillated so long between writing and real, certain work with a pay stub. What if it's a waste of time? And I'm a damn good writer--a decent writer--so that makes it even worse. 

Oh well. I'll keep writing.

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